Welcome to Best Funny Quotes, your online source for the Funniest Quotes online. Here you will find Cool Funny Quotes, Short Funny Quotes and different categories of funny quotes like Funny Birthday Quote, Funny Divorce Quotes, Funny Wedding Quotes, Funny Women Quotes, Funny Love Quotes, Funny Christmas Quotes and Lots more.
Some Short Funny Quotes for you:
" Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives."
"It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats."
"A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke."
"Either he's dead or my watch has stopped."
"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening,but this wasn't it."
"I must confess, I was born at a very early age."
"I really didn't say everything I said."
" If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment."
"It's deja-vu all over again."
"If you ask me a question I don't know, I'm not going to answer."
"It ain't the heat; it's the humility."
"It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living."
"The only reason I need these gloves is 'cause of my hands."
"You can't think and hit at the same time."
"If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be."
"If I didn't wake up, I'd still be sleeping."
"All women are good - good for nothing, or good for something. "
"The other teams could make trouble for us if they win."
"I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early."
"Ham radio operators do it with greater frequency."
"LAWYERS - CRIMINALS I FORGET THE DIFFERENCE"
"Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it."
"Well, at least the war on the environment is going well."
"Jesus loves me, this I know - that is why I don't drive slow!"
"IF THE SCREAMS FROM MY TRUNK BOTHER YOU TURN UP YOUR RADIO"
"Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool."
"A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after. "
"Love Thy neighbors but don't get caught"
"I'M NOT TAILGATING I'M KISSING ASS"
"Ice cream is not sexy. It's not wiggly and jiggly."
"My feminine side is lesbian."
"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason"
"Without geometry, life is pointless."
"You Look Like I Need Another Drink"
"Work, yeah I tried that once. Worst 7 minutes of my life."
" If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"
"For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain."
" Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference."
"Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?"
Getting over a Break Up
1. Never get jealous when you see your ex...
2. Remember that you can't play on broken strings ...
2. Remember that you can't play on broken strings ...
Bitchy Quotes Retro Poster edition
I dont suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
For the first time in ahile she was truly happy, then she remembered, she was drunk.
Ran into my Ex, Put it in reverse & hit him again
Ex- Boyfriend Quotes With Your Ex-Boyfriend In Mind
What Are Quotes | Love Quotes?
Ex Lover's Back Using Simple, Yet Powerfully
Effective Psychological Tactics
Click here to get this 2nd chance
Ex-boyfriend quotes, love quotes or quotes in general should be seen for what they are, just sayings to get you over some mood or the other. It is not necessary which moods we are dealing with at the particular poin in time, we just want a piece of literature or a poem or quote to comfort us. At least that's my take on it.
Are Ex-boyfriend quotes or thoughts of your ex-boyfriend really necessary when you are going through such torment. I ask all the time, what’s the point. Are we so consumed with thoughts of our ex-boyfriends, that any poem or quote we can tie to that person affects our whole being? Life is short and shouldn’t be spent living in the past, love quotes tend to put us in places of security, totally ignoring the reality that exist.
Kalil Gibran:-
Follow your heart
Your heart is the right guide in everything big
Mine is so limited
What you want to do is determined by that divine element that is in each of us.
Your heart is the right guide in everything big
Mine is so limited
What you want to do is determined by that divine element that is in each of us.
Here are a few good quotes, not ex-boyfriend quotes but good:-
“True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.”
—Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Writer
“To have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment. It is not inherited, as with a family. It is not compelling, as with a child. And it has no means of physical pleasure, as with a mate. It is, therefore, an indescribable bond that brings with it a far deeper devotion than all the others.”
—Frances Farmer, Actress
..................................................................................
Dating | Online Dating After Break up is good....
Ex Boyfriend Quote
My Grandmother was fond of saying, “You never miss the water till the well run dry.” This may not qualify as an ex-boyfriend quote but as relationships go, it means that when you have someone or something and takes him/ her/ it for granted, when that person or thing is gone you then realize how much you miss them.
If you are in pain and confused
Here's some good news...
Did you know that most relationships CAN be salvaged? You may find it difficult to believe that almost every break up for whatever reason…infidelity, plain old lost passion, loss of interest, a stolen heart and worse...even the worst situations you can imagine…like men serving prison sentences have salvaged their relationships.
Yes, even Ex-cons have got back together with girlfriends and wives after being away for years! The link below shows you how....check it out.
.........................................................
Do you have these symptoms?
-Leaving the radio off because every song makes you cry
-Loss of appetite
-Binge eating for comfort
-Calling your ex several times a day
-Text messaging and emailing constantly (Text Message Terrorism)
-Constantly checking your email and voice mail to see if he/she called
-Not going out because you are afraid to miss a call
-Thinking non-stop about why they REALLY left you
-Feeling massively depressed
-Feeling urges to spy on them
-Endlessly rehearsing what you should have said
-Endlessly rehearsing what you will say if you bump into them
…and when you do get a hold of them, it usually turns ugly because without a clear plan of what you are supposed to do…what happens? P-A-N-I-C... defensiveness...arguments...and then it gets really nasty.
Kabhi Nazron He.....
Kabhi nazron he mein mohabbat ke jazbaat padh liye jate the
aur meethi si muskurahat se he ikraar kar diye jate the
Kaagaz par utarte the phir dil ke bheege ehsaas
aur chaand se baante jate the apne yaar ke haal chaal
Hawaon ke sang bheje jate the ishq ke meethe paigam
aur haya mein lipte rehte the mohabbat ke surkh nishaan
Apne pyar ko nibhana bhi tab ek reet hoti thi
us zamane ki mohabbat bhi kya khoob hoti thi!
Keeping it Real
I want to be barbie. The bitch has everything
Are you really okay?
I'm acting like I'm okay. Please don't interrupt my performance.
I hate to advocate drings alcohol violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Dont waste your life. No one chooses mediocracy but many settle for it... never settle
Accept what you can't change, Change what you can't accept
Are you really okay?
I'm acting like I'm okay. Please don't interrupt my performance.
I hate to advocate drings alcohol violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Dont waste your life. No one chooses mediocracy but many settle for it... never settle
Accept what you can't change, Change what you can't accept
funny bitchy posters Part 3
Only Boring people are bored
Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life
I'm too pretty to work
My Life Was.....
My life was smooth it was so much fun
It was blooming day by day like a pretty rose bud,
Whenever we met you filled my life with joy and smile
Time spent with you always clung to my mind,
Today when I am facing the tough road of my life
I still find you standing always by my side,
Your kind words and inspiration has helped me a lot
May you be blessed with health and happiness I always pray to God.
Funny Bitchy Posters Part 2
If I'm Evil, why are you satisfied?
Its Hard to do the right thing when syrup is involved by recoveringlaziholic
If he is Dumb enough to walk away, Be smart enough to let him go
She turns her cants into cans and her dream into plans
If you can't laugh at it , You probably deserve it
Between Two Evils I always pick the one I never tried before
Anyone can get dressed up and glamorous, but its how people dress in their days off are the most intriguing - Alexander Wang
Nothing is Impossible, the word itself says I'M POSSIBLE - Audrey Hepburn
I Hear Good Things Happen to People who wait ..So I am going to be an hour late - kanye West
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone
Funny Bitchy Posters
If I want your opinion, I'l beat it out of you
You're single because you fall for people on the covers of magazine
source: wordboner.com
If you're not living on the edge, you're taking too much space.
You can prevent yourself from crying while peeling onions by chewing gum... you can prevent yourself from crying in any other situation by not being such a little bitch
Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men.
I Love you as a whole ...
Let's make better mistakess tomorrow...
I'm jealous of me too ..
Too hot to handle and too cold to hold
Be YOU ...
Blowjobs are like flowers for men
The Prettiest dresses are worn to be taken off
When Writing the story of your life, Don't let anyone else hold the pen
Kabhi Takdeer Toh.....
Kabhi takdeer toh kabhi rab se fariyaad karte hain
kyun humein milakar juda kar diya ye sawaal karte hain,
Sachi mohhabat ka kyun hamesha yehi anzaam hota hai
pehle labon par muskurahat phir aankhon mein aansuon ka sailaab hota hai,
Kyun ishq ke naam hamesha yehi farmaan hota hai
apni mohhabat ko bhool jaao yehi sache pyar ka imtehaan hota hai,
Yun toh ishq ko rab ki bandagi kehte hain
phir kyun uss bandagi ke binn jeene ko zindagi kehte hain?
Celebrity Love Quotes
We might have seen clelbrities on the screen, awards shows, read about them in newspapers, interview, TV shows etc. Ever wondered what these celebrities think or say about love? Here I am posting some famous and memorable celebrities quotes on love:
- "There is a time for work. And a time for love. That leaves no other time." - Coco Chanel
- "And in the end, the love you take Is equal to the love you make." - John Lennon and Paul McCartney
- "The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain.” - Jennifer Aniston
- "The best smell in the world is that man that you love.” - Jennifer Aniston
- “Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.” - Paris Hilton
- Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand. - Mother Teresa
- Where there is love there is life - Mahatma Gandhi
- Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave. - Martin Luther
- To keep your marriage brimming,With love in the wedding cup,Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up. - Ogden Nash
- To be brave is to love unconditionally without expecting anything in return." - Madonna
- "Love to me is someone telling me, I want to be with you for the rest of my life, and if you'd like me to, I'd jump out of a plane for you". - Jennifer Lopez
- "Everything is clearer when you're in love." - John Lennon
- I love to hit people. I love to. Mike Tyson
For The looove of chocolate
There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, & chocolate truffles.
Chocolate, men, coffee: some things are better rich.~Anonymous
If you love something, set it free. Unless it's chocolate.
I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.
Drink Drank Drunk
Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?
Why women are smart
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy
I Miss You Love Quotes for Missing Someone Special
Its quiet often that you miss someone special when he/she is not with you. Its not necessary that you miss your someone special only when he/she is miles away from you, but you can miss that person even minutes after you drop him/her after a break, or may when you reached home after spending a day together may be while watching some TV show or a movie. You can also miss your loved one while in the office or while preparing for the exams etc.
Now calling you loved one and telling I MISS YOU may not express your love in that perfect romantic way. Definitely you need some of the best missing you love quotes that can express the void in your life when your someone special is not with you. Below I am posting some quotes about missing someone you love. I hope these missing you love quotes will help you express your love in a better way.
I miss you love quotes:
Now calling you loved one and telling I MISS YOU may not express your love in that perfect romantic way. Definitely you need some of the best missing you love quotes that can express the void in your life when your someone special is not with you. Below I am posting some quotes about missing someone you love. I hope these missing you love quotes will help you express your love in a better way.
I miss you love quotes:
- Before I sleep and after I wake up and all the hours in between ... you occupy my mind. So, practically every moment of the day you are in my thoughts. I miss you.
- I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you.
- Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss.
- When the night has come and the land's dark, when the moon is the only light we'll see, look at the stars; can you count them? I miss you that much.
- I heard someone whisper your name, but when I turned around to see who it was, I was alone. Then I realized that it was my heart telling me that I miss you.
- I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you.
- A goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to say hello again.
- The worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you know you can never have them.
- If you love someone more then anything, then distance only matters to the mind, not to the heart.
- Just because I moved on doesn't mean I won't be here if you change your mind.
- The few hours I spent with you are worth the thousand hours I spend without you.
- I miss the way you used to hug me, I miss the way you used to kiss my lips, but most of all I miss the way you held me and my heart. I miss you...
- A hug for you means I need you. A kiss for you means I love you. A call for you means I'm missing you.
- There is nothing i want more than to be with you... Missing You!
- When I think of you I get this feeling that I want to see you. I miss you.
- you made me realize what love is, and now you took it away... come back soon... I miss you
- When I Miss You... I just close my eyes & I am with you!
- "Missing you is a very small word, the extent of which is felt when the winds strike my door and i feel you passing by."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
